There was once a famous crab named Jon Snowcrab. He had defeated all the other crabs in his castle to earn the right to leave and travel the world. So he set off on an epic journey across the eastern coast of the American continent and documented his amazing travels on this cool app called Snapchat.

Snowcrab tells his family bye Snowcrab tells his family bye
He rafts across the sea He rafts across the sea
Makes friends in the ocean Makes friends in the ocean
And finally finds land And finally finds land
Looks back out  towards home Looks back out towards home
Fuck, should've just taken a ride in this Fuck, should've just taken a ride in this
Basic bitch brunch Basic bitch brunch
Snowcrab eeds a drink Snowcrab eeds a drink
Kind of misses home Kind of misses home

I miss Jon Snowcrab - he unfortunately didn’t last very long out in the wild. Anyway I decided to have my own little Red Wedding and killed off the rest of his family this week.

Jon Snowcrab Jon Snowcrab Jon Snowcrab Jon Snowcrab

Don’t forget the garlic noodles.

Jon Snowcrab Jon Snowcrab

Poor dismembered crab couple… at least you were delicious.

Jon Snowcrab